Gosh I’m a super writer. You can read my stories in a multitude of magazines or buy one of my books and what’s more you jolly well should!

Er, sorry about that. I was just demonstrating what it’s like to be bumptious. It means to be annoyingly confident and self-important. I’m not really like that am I, at least not all the time?

I know, we’ll put it to a vote (that couldn’t possibly go wrong, could it?) Is the picture appropriate because –

A) I’m looking jolly smug as I’d just won a poetry competition (which was ages ago and yes I’m still going on about it) or

B) Because of the location?