OK, brand new is a phrase and not a word and this may be more of a rant than an explanation*, but this has been bothering me for a while … Why do people (particularly those in marketing) say something is brand new? The only definition I’ve been able to find is ‘completely new’. But new is like pregnant, dead or unique – either you are or you’re not. You can’t be slightly pregnant or fairly unique and an object can’t be just a little bit new.

While I’m ranting, semi-naked is just as bad. There’s no such thing. A person may not be wearing many clothes, but saying someone who’s removed their shirt is semi-naked is like referring to someone as mildly dead. (Unlike the people who built the sphinx who are really, totally and absolutely completely dead)

Are there any redundant or illogical expressions which annoy you?

Consign either means to deliver something to someone (or arrange for that to be done) or to put a person or object in a place in order to be rid of them. Eg the editor consigned the manuscript to the return envelope.

A consignment is a group of items which are to be, or have been, consigned.

Con sign is a cheating or misleading sign which doesn’t live up to what’s written on it. Eg those which say ‘up to half price sale’ when in reality it’s the discount which will be up to 50%, not the sale price.

Hydrochory is passive dispersal by water. Plant seeds being carried downstream, fruit swept by tides and currents to a distant shore, writers drifting round a pool on a lilo, that sort of thing.

Cark is the harsh noise made by a carrion crow. They do sound as though they have a lot on their minds, maybe that’s why cark also means burden.

Carking is an archaic term for something worrisome. I hope nothing happens today to carken you with carking doubts.

Parergon is work that’s subsidiary to your main employment, or an ornamental accessory. Parerega is the plural in either case.

As a parergon to writing, I act as a photographic assistant (and I like to think I’m Gary’s parergon, although I’m usually more windswept than ornamental).

Toward is the less common variant of towards. Both are prepositions meaning in the direction of or getting closer to something. Eg todays word count of 1,237 words helps toward my goal of finishing the next Little Mallow book. Toward (or towards) can also mean contributing to the cost of. Eg each book sale goes towards funding my cake habit.

Toward (but not towards) is an old fashioned word for going on, or in progress. Untoward is not as might be expected the opposite. That means unexpected or inconvenient.

Toward is also the name of a castle in Scotland. Two actually, old Toward castle (pictured) is a ruin which the public are welcome to explore. You can get a better look round, and more information here.

Heist is a word I’ve heard, read and pretty much understood, but I don’t think I’ve ever used it – until now.

It’s come to my attention because Amazon have labelled my new book as ‘heist crime‘. That didn’t sound quite right to me and naturally I wanted to check if it was accurate. Heist crime sounds so American and fast paced. My Little Mallow books are quite gentle and very English.

Not being at home, I had to use an online dictionary, which tells me that in UK English heist can be a noun meaning a robbery. There are definitely robberies in the the story .

In American English heist can also be a verb. The example they give is ‘he heisted a Pontiac’. I’ve concluded that although I’d much prefer ‘cosy crime’ or something with mystery in, heist crime isn’t actually wrong.